Don't do it alone.

Deathbed - Relient K
$1.94(11:05)





[Piano]

[Matthew Thiessen]
I can smell the death on the sheets
Covering me
I can't believe this is the end

But this is my deathbed
I lie here alone
If I close my eyes tonight
I know I'll be home

The year is 1941
I was eight years old and far, far too young
To know that the stories of battles and glory
Was a tale a kind mother made up for her son

You see, dad was a traveling preacher
Teaching the words of the teacher
Mother had sworn he went off to the war
And died there with honor, somewhere on a beach there

But he left once to never return
Which taught me that I should unlearn
Whatever I thought a father should be
I abandoned that thought like he abandoned me

By '47, I was fourteen
I'd acquired a taste for liquor and nicotine
I smoked until I threw up, yet I still lit 'em up
For thirty more years, like a machine

So right there you have it
That one filthy habit
Is what got me where I am today

I can smell the death on the sheets
Covering me
I can't believe this is the end

I can hear those sad memories
Still haunting me
So many things I'd do again

But this is my deathbed
I lie here alone
If I close my eyes tonight
I know I'll be home

Got married on my twenty-first
Eight months before my wife would give birth
It's easier to be sure you love someone
When a father inquires with the barrel of a gun

The union was far from harmonious
No two people could've been more alone than us
The years would go by and she'd love someone else
And I'd realized I hadn't been loved yet myself

From there it's your typical spiel
Yeah, if life was a highway, I was drunk at the wheel
I was helping the loose ends all fall apart
Yeah, I swear I was destined to fail, and fail from the start

I bowled about six times a week
A bottle of Beam kept the memories from me
Our marriage had taken a 7–10 split
And along with my pride, the ex-wife took the kids

I can smell the death on the sheets
Covering me
I can't believe this is the end

I can hear those sad memories
Still haunting me
So many things I'd do again

But this is my deathbed
I lie here alone
If I close my eyes tonight
I know I'll be home

I was so scared of Jesus but he sought me out
Like the cancer in my lungs it's killing me now
And I've given up hope on the days I have left
But I cling to the hope of my life in the next

Then Jesus showed up, said, "Before we go up
I thought that we might reminisce
See, one night in your life, when you turned out the lights
You asked for and prayed for my forgiveness

You cried wolf, the tears they soaked your fur
The blood dripped from your fangs
You said 'What have I done?'
You loved that lamb with every sinful bone
And there you wept alone
Your heart was so contrite

You said: 'Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes
Sanctify this withered heart of mine
Stay with me until my life is through
And on that day, please take me home with you'"

I can smell the death on the sheets
Covering me
I can't believe this is the end

I can hear you whisper to me
"It's time to leave
You'll never be lonely again"

But this was my deathbed
I died there alone
When I closed my eyes tonight
You carried me home

[Instrumental interlude]

[Jon Foreman]
I am the way
Follow me and take my hand
And I am the truth
Embrace me and you'll understand

And I am the life
And through me you'll live again

[Matthew Thiessen]
For I am love
I am love
I
I am love


No matter how unhappy, how unsatisfying your life has been, there is always hope. This song is so sad, but so happy. This guy’s dad left him and his mom for another life, and his mom couldn't even tell him the truth about it. She was living in a dream world of her own. She tried to pass that on to her son, and it nearly ruined his life. He discovered the truth, though. By the end of the song, he knew he wouldn't ever be happy without this thing he was always running away from.

As a teenager he tried to forget it all. Not just the father he never knew, everything. He forgot about school; he didn't care. He forgot about his friends; he didn't realize what he was losing. He forgot about himself. He forgot he only got one life on Earth. He made bad decisions ("I smoked until I threw up, yet I still lit 'em up"), and ended up getting his girlfriend pregnant("Eight months before my wife would give birth") and practically being forced to marry her("It's easier to be sure you love someone when a father inquires with the barrel of a gun").

The unhappy years passed, getting worse as his life wasted away. The marriage that never meant anything soon fell completely apart("The union was far from harmonious
No two people could've been more alone than us"), and then he did("Yeah, if life was a highway, I was drunk at the wheel. I was helping the loose ends all fall apart"). He developed an obsession with bowling and hard liquor, because he didn't know what else to do with himself. And all along he smoked and smoked and smoked, surrounding his already depressing gloom of a life with more gray, and then blamed it on everything else("i swear i was destined to fail, right from the start..").

By the time doctors found cancer in his lungs, he knew what he had done. He wasted his most precious gift from God, a life to do with what he pleased. Turns out he never took the time to realize just what would make him the happiest. Except, after it had all been said and done. He had "cried wolf" so many other times, but he never meant it("I was so scared of Jesus but he sought me out"). He had just heard from his friends that Jesus was the good one, that Jesus could solve everything. So every so often, when he was really at his worst, he mumbled a few things up to God and hoped some miracle happened the next day. He never meant it though. He didn't really want to know if God was there or not, he just wanted a way out of his current set of problems, but he regretted it by the end("Like the cancer in my lungs it's killing me now").

Finally, he hit rock bottom. He knew of nothing else that could bring him hope, happiness. After all, he had already tried everything. So he cried out one more time to who he'd never been let down by, but had let down all his life. Only this time, he meant it.

"You cried wolf, the tears they soaked your fur
The blood dripped from your fangs
You said 'What have I done?'
You loved that lamb with every sinful bone
And there you wept alone
Your heart was so contrite"

You said: 'Jesus, please forgive me of my crimes
Sanctify this withered heart of mine
Stay with me until my life is through
And on that day, please take me home with you'"

He knew he needed Jesus, nobody else had cared enough to help him("And I'd realized I hadn't been loved yet myself"). All his life he went without Him, and wasn't ever happy. His last cry wasn't enough to rewrite the past, but it was enough to open up a whole new future. God only wants us to love Him and acknowledge that He is indeed God. And he wants us to listen to the Jesus in our hearts, and use the sacrifice He made for us on the cross, to live loving lives and meet Him in Heaven.

Yeah, this time, he meant it. And guess who came to his rescue. I want to encourage anybody who hasn't quite given their heart over to Jesus's love, and asked God to forgive all that they have done to make Him, themselve,s and everyone around them sad. Just see if He's there. If you don't believe He will help, just call to Him and see. If you really want to know, you'll get your answer.

 Subscribe to be notified of my future writings!